我不能只有一个朋友

I can’t limit myself to one friendship

作者：A 12-Year-Old Girl

日期：2006-04

来源: http://www.readersdigest.ca

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These days having a best friend seems so important to girls. You want to be special. However I have learned the hard way that having one best friend is not the way to go. It's so much better to have many great friends.

As I was coming into Middle School, grade six, I was really excited because my friend Jennifer was going to be in the same Middle School as me! I was convinced that we would be the bestest buds. At first things were great, she introduced me to her friend Amy and we had lots of fun together. None of the girls from my elementary school were in my classes, but I wasn’t worried. I had Amy and Jennifer, and I could make some new friends. Then things started to change. Jennifer was very controlling: I couldn't make new friends, because if I hung out with different people, she would decide that I was "mad at her and Amy." So I didn't make new friends, and pretty soon being Jennifer's friend was a struggle.

Jennifer wanted to be the "leader" of our little group. Amy and I were never partners with each other in class projects or gym; it was always, "Who gets the privilege of being Jennifer's partner." It was either Jennifer liked me and she left Amy out or Jennifer liked Amy and she left me out. Amy and I both wanted to be Jennifer's number one. I don't think we ever really thought about how unfair things were. Being Jennifer’s friend became the most important thing in the world.

I always waited for Jennifer and Amy after classes, so we could walk together to our next class. Amy and Jennifer chatted by Jennifer's desk as Jennifer packed her books up and I waited by the door. Sometimes when they left, they'd walk right past me. No "Thanks for waiting." No "Sorry we took so long." It was as if they couldn't even see me. Yet I still waited after every single class.

Most of the time we gossiped about people, and I soon realized that nobody was good enough for Jennifer. Jennifer had a list of bad things about everybody, even Amy. And I'm sure she had a list of bad things about me, too. After months of living through school this way, I had really changed. I was moody, depressed, lonely, and I didn't smile much. I spent lots of days trying not to cry, I felt so left out.

Finally, near the very end of the school year, something snapped. I was so incredibly sick of being treated so poorly. I was sick of having to battle for friendship. I stopped sitting with Jennifer at lunch and I stopped waiting for her after class. It didn't take long: Jennifer quickly announced that I was "mad at her." I said, "I'm not mad, I just think I need to make some more friends," But with Jennifer it's all or nothing. If you didn’t worship her, she was convinced you were mad at her. So boom, just like that, our friendship fell to pieces.

It was tough at first, but I found a lot of girls that Jennifer had classified as "Moody, Snobby, or Mean" and found they were the sweetest, friendliest people in the world. They all said that they’d thought I was like Jennifer, but now that we had taken the time to get to know each other, that I was nothing like her.

I'm in Grade 7 now, and I have tons of friends. They support me when I am sad, and I support them. We have fun and happy times together and I love them all to bits. It amazes me how easy our friendship is. There's no struggling to be on top—we're all equal. I smile all the time now and I never feel alone. I have so many friends now, that it doesn't matter to me if two of them walk away or if two of them buy friendship necklaces together. It doesn't hurt my feelings or make me feel alone, because I have so many friends. We're all one big group of friends. Even though Grade 6 was horrible, it taught me a lot. It's better to have ten or 20 awesome friends than just one best friend.

I wish Jennifer could understand, I still want to be friends with her, but I can't limit myself to one friendship. Maybe one day she'll look back at what happened and she'll change, but even though I lost a friend, I am a happier person.